IF


“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul”

William Earnest Henley
picture taken in Hilo, Hawaii 2018

No one captains your soul, but yourself. IF you give up the wheel, it is by your choice. Master your will, find strength in your softest places, your life depends on you and you alone.

written by me- January 3, 2006.

I remember writing this, I needed those words. That daily reminder. And I still do. But when I read it tonight, within the black hard covered book, titled: “Dwell in possibility” My blank paged diary of those days. Those days. When I wanted to believe I was indeed the captain of my ship. And not a sailor, clinging to the bow in a wild storm of insecurities and distant dreams. But those are other stories.

When tonight though…

When I read it tonight. A thought occured to me. What if that black hard edged diary, was gripped in my childish hands. If I was somehow casted back in time, how would i understand its power? As I had none myself. Boundaries blurred by abuse. Violence. My bed no refuge or solace or peace.

I do not have an answer.

I just have it now, those words, and I say them to comfort and to grow. I am the Master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul…

If i believe it enough, the child in me hears, and i think ….it helps. And she sleeps, and dreams, and dwells….

In possibilites.

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