VIVO

After the last blog entry, I feel like I need to write something light. Something easy to carry. I have read Marionette, my last post, a few times. It still seems a little, jumbled. I could feel the anger creeping in the more I wrote, I felt like I could not quite get my point across. Which is always the problem when I attempt to talk or write about those days. It is very frustrating.

Then it suddenly occurred to me, that I want everyone to be as dismayed and hurt, and broken as I was during those years. When I talk about it, I want to hear GASPS! and GROANS, the shaking of the head and a soft touch of the hand “How did you ever survive that?” and it is not because, I want to appear the victim. The poor me, the sad doll tossed into the free box at a garage sale. I just want to know, by those subtle acts of understanding. I am not crazy. It did happen, and I survived. Period.

What was I writing about at first? Something light, something easy to carry?

*after 5 minutes of staring at my blog, arms folded*

Who am I kidding?  My blog is titled  ‘.into my deep’  🙂

Of course, that is not really all of who I am. I do have to come up for air.  How boring, to be hanging out in the Emo depths, slouched artistically against the coral.  Swaying dark hair, cutting across a gray expression. Boring.

 Oh darling, an Artist is never boring. *smirks*

My cousins daughter, after I said she reminded me of, Fall. Quipped back to me “and you remind me of, Spring” I smiled. Yes, within my Winter, there is an everlasting Spring.

A smile.

A kind word.

A soft push of encouragement.

And yes, a shimmering ocean of dark humor.

I am the Evergreen, in the landscape of white.

Dum Vivo Spero, our families Latin motto. Which roughly means, ‘While I breathe, I hope.’    And fellow artist, I do declare, I am still breathing.