Smile

heart shaped red neon signage
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Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that”

Martin Luther King

 

As a child I danced with dust particles, surfing the light beams in my grandmothers kitchen. And we had the best conversations, the ghosts and I.

I was 6 then.

My sister thought I was weird. And she said it in a tone, that was not born in love.

We had a sort of love / hate relationship. My sister and I. For I carried the DNA of the man who trespassed the intimate boundaries of a child. She was only 3.

I was an infant, and she hated me. I carried the sins of my father like a scarlet letter across my small, beating, heart. I learned early, how to be hated and still smile.


©Hummingbird 2019


2/28

I feel like I should continue this.  Almost  a month later.  Not sure what else there is to say, but something must be there.  Bouncing around in my thoughts, knocking to get my attention.  

My half sister and I, we get along.  We love each other.   She still struggles, and I understand.  There is many things I struggle with as well.  I did not escape him. But, you still grow up with that guilt on  your shoulder, in your heart, clinging to your back.  I want to tell her sorry.  

I wish I liked orange soda.

He ruined a lot of things.


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